‘Commercial friendship’: it may seem like a paradox, but it is a common phenomenon in the hospitality industry. “Commercial friendship is about creating a warm, friendly bond between staff and guests, without losing sight of commercial objectives,” explains Sake Jan Velthuis, lecturer at NHL Stenden University of Applied Sciences and researcher at the Sustainability in Hospitality and Tourism research group at the Hotel Management School in Leeuwarden. Sake Jan has conducted research into this concept and discovered that investing in commercial friendships offers numerous benefits to hospitality entrepreneurs.
In the dynamic world of hospitality, building sustainable guest relationships is crucial to success. Loyal guests spend more and spread positive word-of-mouth. Moreover, a strong bond with guests also ensures satisfied and motivated staff, contributing to a positive atmosphere within the establishment. But the big question is: how do you, as a hospitality entrepreneur, build such a personal relationship with your guests? “Precisely because commercial objectives are at play, this can go seriously wrong. Building a commercial friendship requires a different set of skills,” Sake Jan emphasizes. He offers five tips to guide hospitality entrepreneurs on their way.
1. Select Staff Based on Your Target Audience
First and foremost, it’s essential to carefully select staff who match the clientele of your establishment. “Most friendships are formed when people have a lot in common. You’re more likely to develop a friendship with someone who resembles you. Therefore, as a business owner, it’s helpful to recruit staff who align with your café’s target audience. During a job interview, don’t ask about work experience right away. Instead, ask about their hobbies, what music they listen to, or which comedians they find hilarious. In other words, select staff based on lifestyle.”
2. Train Staff in Social Skills
It is also crucial to train staff in social skills. “New colleagues often receive practical training, such as how to serve dishes or open a good bottle of wine. However, making small talk, remembering names, and recalling what guests mentioned during previous visits is far more important than learning how to open a wine bottle. Additionally, social skills are essential for recognizing what kind of relationship you have with someone and adjusting your conversations accordingly. As a commercial friendship develops, the topics of conversation become more intimate. It’s important to discuss with your staff what is acceptable to talk about and what fits the identity of your business.”
3. Recognize Levels and Leverage Strengths
Having a drink after work. Helping a regular customer move house. As a commercial friendship grows, its quality also changes. Based on his research, Sake Jan identifies six levels of commercial friendships. “These levels range from a relationship primarily focused on service to a close bond where there’s hardly any distinction between a commercial and a regular friendship. Each level has its own strengths, which can be identified through three factors: shared activities, self-disclosure, and social support. The more and more varied the shared activities, the deeper the friendship. Self-disclosure involves sharing personal information. Finally, social support arises. By recognizing these levels, you can leverage their strengths and avoid missteps, such as a staff member offering to do something for a guest that feels inappropriate.”
4. Incorporate Commercial Friendship into Your Policy
Things we experience repeatedly tend to feel ‘normal’ over time, Sake Jan’s research shows. “In other words, the more often a guest returns, the less they appreciate your service. To keep guests coming back, you need to offer more than just a great menu, a masterful chef, or an excellent craft beer on tap. For many regulars, commercial friendships are the reason they return. Be mindful of this. In other words: make commercial friendship a part of your policy. During my research, I came across a beautiful quote from a bartender. He said, ‘We don’t sell drinks here; we sell engagement.’ That’s exactly what I mean. Commercial friendship is what keeps people coming back.”
5. Be Genuine or Don’t Do It
Finally, Sake Jan emphasizes the importance of authenticity. “Be genuine or don’t do it,” is his key advice. “Avoid giving guests the impression that you’re acting like a friend purely for commercial reasons. Customers quickly pick up on insincerity. This can lead to a loss of trust, guests seeking out another place, and negative word-of-mouth. Only genuine interest in your guests creates true connections. The revenue will follow. Don’t worry about that.”
Follow-Up Research
Since 2023, Sake Jan has been conducting research into commercial friendship. He has interviewed various bartenders and customers, delving deeper into how commercial friendships develop in hospitality. But there’s still much more to explore. For instance, he aims to develop a tool to measure the quality of commercial friendships in cafés. This tool will help café owners enhance the hospitality of their establishments.
Contact
Are you a hospitality entrepreneur or bartender interested in participating in further research? Or do you want to learn more about this topic? Contact Sake Jan Velthuis and discover how your business can benefit from commercial friendships.
Email: sake.jan.velthuis@nhlstenden.com